My sheets look like a crime scene.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
