Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
