think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
