I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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