Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
