the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
