True but thats because hes a fetus.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
