apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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