If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love you. Go after that dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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