Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
