thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
