Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i already hear my dad disowning me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
