I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
