Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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