Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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