Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
