My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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