Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
