Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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