i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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