get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
