I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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