You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
