Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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