i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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