my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
