Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
