so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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