it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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