Where is the hickey?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
