we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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