You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
