i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
