I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
