No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
