There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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