EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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