Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
