hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
