And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
