when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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