Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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