I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
