I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
