How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize