Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
