hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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