I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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