somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
