Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
