you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
