Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
