threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize