Pants 0. Shit 1.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
