so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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