Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
