just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He has the fingertips of a God
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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