i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
