I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Pants are for mortals
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
