you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize